As part of my year of charity challenges, my challenge for June was to do something pretty unique and wear a wedding dress for the whole month!
I had 3 dresses, 2 work appropriate ones so that I could fit in my work seat and not get caught on things every time I moved and one big flouncy bastard!!
Sooo as someone who went through all the looks of confusion what did I learn about wearing a wedding dress?
1) People are nicer to you
So nice! They give you money when you are looking for change in the bus line. They speak to you in a kinder way and look at you like you could be a puppy. At any moment I expected a reassuring pat on the head and a cuddle.
2) Noone asks if you are ok.
Despite being nice, not one person, not one, assumed I was a run away/jilted bride, even when I had make up smudged all over my face! They all think you are off to a photo shoot. Damn it!
3) Wearing a wedding dress makes you speak in a child voice.
I found I was speaking in a much sweeter and delicate way to people, even on the phone to people who cannot see me in all my glory. I should have done more Skype calls. You basically become 5 years old. You want to spin around constantly and scream and then try and run in a straight line and fall in the grass. All of the spinning!!!
4) People will ask you to spin.
After the time I span on my own, people start asking you to spin. All. The. Time. Spin around! All those layers… spin!! SPIN!! Fun for a very small amount of time, then you are sick all down yourself.
5) People give you a seat on the bus/train
If they don’t think you are doing a photo shoot they assume you might have a psychological problem. If anyone would like to suggest which psychological problem it is when you wear a wedding dress on the train I’d like to hear that. If they don’t offer you a seat they are quick to get up and just walk away, leaving that seat empty. It is of course possible that I just smell.
6) You make people smile.
This was what I wanted to do with all my challenges so that’s handy. However I’m not entirely sure whether they are smiling because they are laughing at me or because they feel sorry for me having to take the number 32 bus to my wedding. I should probably have done a survey to find out.
7) You become a more careful eater
Hmmm I’d better not eat soup or a really bright curry in case I get it all down me. Dry cleaning for a wedding dress is fairly expensive, and I would have to stand around naked in the shop whilst I wait.
8) It’s not appropriate gymwear
You are not allowed to wear a wedding dress on a treadmill at the gym. Fact!
9) You take up a lot of space
…and often forget how big you are. You drag shoes, pillows, cats, anything which is on the floor or on the seat around you, that belongs to your dress now. You will also get caught on things, break things and knock over cups.
10) The wind is not your friend
Your dress will fly up, your veil will get all in your face, or fall off and you will chase it down the street. If you are too close to someone the veil might fly into their face, and they wont appreciate it when you tell them off for wearing lipstick as it’s NOW ALL OVER YOUR VEIL. Quite often you will flash people your pants, it’s quite possible the wind will blow all of your dress backwards and you wont be able to move because of the weight of your dress. You will be stuck there for ever!
One bonus thing I learned….
Generally every day is just a little bit more fun!
All of those boring menial tasks you do around the house are fun now, especially if people are taking pictures 😀
Honey xxx
Buttons in a Honey Pot 